Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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