the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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