I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
