Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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