There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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