I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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