You made me cry and you don't even care
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
