my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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