You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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