If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
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Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
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I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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