I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
