New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
