My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
