I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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