i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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