imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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