Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
