I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
false alarm, still single
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
