how can u be prego again
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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