Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
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