He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
