Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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