Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
