Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
