Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
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