he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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