singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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