This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
