Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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