You're earring is so big in my mouth
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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