So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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