awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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