If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
