I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize