your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
