i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
