Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize