Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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