are you still at the devil's house?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
