I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
ok first of all what the fuck
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
