My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
