nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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