: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
