dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
