Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
