hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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