Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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