My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize