Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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