I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I look better un-naked...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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