Cold hands, warm shart.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
