Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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