I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
