I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
