Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
