After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.â€
Randomize
