it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
