I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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